Ha' Azinu- Lead by Example..................

Ha’ Azinu

“Lead By Example,If Not for You, Then for…………”

Tishrei 2 & 3, 5775          September 26 & 27, 2014

“Is this the way you repay G-D…..Is he not your Father, your Master? He made and established you.” (32:6)

I’d like to share a childhood memory; I remember my parents saying, “Do as I say, Not as I do!”  For example, and not to tattle on my mom, but…….She always used to cut towards herself with the knife, and I would say, “MOM!!!! That is so unsafe!”  Her gentle reply, “Barry, you’re absolutely right; do as I say, not as I do!”   Or when my dad taught me how to drive and would make an illegal U-Turn to get to Lake Merced Parking Lot…..”Dad!!!!  What are YOU doing?!”  The same reply, of course. That phrase is imbedded like indelible ink in my memory bank!

About 5 years ago, my SMART phone was with me on the dinner table while (I wasn’t being so smart) having my meal with my family, and my sweet little daughter politely asked me, “Daddy isn’t that rude of you to have your cell phone on the table when it’s family time!?”   I always preach it!   I started to say, “Do as I…….”  I STOPPED right there, and said, “Mia, you’re so very right!”  I removed my phone from the area, and focused on what I should be focusing on.  I was being a hypocrite and not leading by example, and not just hurting myself, but my children as well……NO!  NO more do as I say, NOT as “I” do!   Who am “I”?

It is true that one who goes astray or deviates is not just harming oneself, but that he/she is also harming others, be it silently or otherwise.  I should have honestly realized and thought, as other parents, I must set the pace, the rules, and proper actions with in and out of my own home!   My children’s perception is directly related to my own actions and behaviors.  Do I want a blemish on my own report card, or on theirs?  No, of course not!   The mind and thought process of a child, and even an adult is very sensitive and has a difficult time accepting insincerity or ‘stories’.

Again, as my Mom said, “Actions speaks LOUDER than words.”  She’s always……., well is/was usually right!   I never heard an “I told ya’ so….”  She and my dad really did lead by example, thankfully!  Very few, “do as I say, not as I do…” ……. Very moralistic, honest, true and loving parents that lead by true example.

The Torah teaches us that a person who expects his/her children to grow into G-d fearing people while he/she walks and continues to follow a deviated path, that at times might even seem lackadaisical, should honestly realize that he/she is NOT just acting for him/herself, but for his/her own child, and those persons they surround!  Even if a parent sent his/her child to the finest school in town, he/she MUST also augment the most correct behaviors to set an example and be a fine teacher in their own environment as well.  Lead by example! 

This same love and affection & lofty expectations which he/she has for his/her child can be paralleled to your relationship with G-d!    The purpose of G-d’s creation is definitely altruistic, so that G-d may reward you for following certain precepts and walking a particular path.  Easier said than done! Practice, practice, and practice!!!!!!!!!!!! 

We all fall from perfect, and we must always remember our true obligations, not just as a parent, but as a loving and endearing person and ALL the responsibilities that go with the position.

L'Shana Tova (Happy New Year) and Shabbat Shalom!

Amen