Toldot - My Favorite is Always Happy!

Toldot  -  My Favorite is Always Happy

November 13/14, 2015   Kislev 1/2 , 5776

Ve'eleh toldot Yitzchak ben-Avraham, Avraham holid et-Yitzchak.

These are the descendants of Isaac, son of Abraham. Abraham was the father of Isaac.

Viha-yeeee Yitzchak ben-arba'im shanah,  bich-kactow et-Rivkah, bat-Betu'el ha'Aramee miPaddan-aram, ah-cho-ote Lavan, ha'Aramee lo le'isha.

Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebecca, the daughter of Betuel, the Arammi, of Padan Aram, sister of Lavan, the Arami, for a wife.

There is a VERY big smile on my face, and tears of joy in my eyes as I write this, as it tells a story;

as this was my Bar Mitzvah Portion/Parsha a few years back!!!!  I young man of just 13.

With each passing year on the anniversary of my Bar Mitzvah, and how proud I made my parents, grandparents, brother, family and friends!    As an adult, I really feel, it is of ALL of them that I am proud of and their actions, caring, and who and what they represent as human-beings!

Like most Bar Mitzvah boys, my voice squeaked with a pubescent tone, although already deep and loud, I pushed aside the microphone in extreme confidence (I started out at a young age), as I was going to rock the house of over 250 of my guests; my entire family basically and so many friends!!!!

On the Night of/Day of…..My dad was proudly seated next to me on the pulpit/bema.  My mom sat in the first row, along with my older brother who was 17 at the time, my 2 nanas, and my grandpa Nate, who my dear and loving son is named after.  My grandpa Jack was present and looking down from heaven, and “popping his buttons off”, as my uncle exclaimed that evening! I remember vividly the smiles, and tears of joy of each of them, even my 17-year-old brother smiled and showed he was proud, even-though sibling rivalry never quits!!!  Like most sibs, we had an unspoken competition at times, although the age difference.

The significance of me becoming a Bar Mitzvah, that evening, and that day of Shabbat, was finally here!  It was going to be one of the major building blocks of my very own life and help determine my choices and adulthood for years to come!  Very Impactful!!!

My mom’s ultimate party planning, her organizing all my aunts to bake for an out of this world Oneg Shabbat, my dad’s own stories of his Bar Mitzvah (I've heard these stories over and over again, but now as a dad, I do the same to my own kids), my older and sarcastic brother smiling all the time, and of course my dear, dear grandparents kvelling in their seats so proudly, that little 'Barralach' (my mom's affectionate name for me) is a Bar Mitzvah……was all so very present, real, and finally here that very day!

I remember the day, and the night, like it was yesterday, full of rich, vivid, and happy memories.   I felt like I was everyone’s favorite person that very moment; lucky me!   The way I made my family feel, especially my folks, how could I not be the favorite son?  The very fact that my brother was present in the front row watching ME, and it was MY Bar Mitzvah and ALL eyes on me, and people traveled far and near, was so sweet and I was so happy!!!  I just had to be the chosen favorite, or so I felt!  Haha to my dear brother!

Like the Bar Mitzvah boy,.....the Torah portion, ‘Toldot’ has a strong parallelism to what I felt at the time of my Bar Mitzvah!...That of being the favorite son.

In the Torah portion that I chanted and read so loudly and with such confidence and conviction, Rebecca and Isaac had twin boys, Esau and Jacob.  Each parent had their favorite (be it right or wrong).  Isaac loves the manliness of Esau, and Rebecca favored Jacob and his refined and mannered skills. I won't share what son Ken, my brother, resembles, or me, for that matter.  Inquiring minds; nor does t really matter.

The boys, then men as they matured, were both true individuals, although the favoritism still held up… Both chose to walk a different path.

Esau hunted, Esau gathered, Esau was a man’s man of sorts, a somewhat Sportsman. 

Jacob was more calm, and by the book.

Both were unique and both added true value to the world!

In the end of Toldot, both do indeed receive their father’s blessings, semi-indirectly, but they did receive them.

I again reflect back to my own Bar Mitzvah, and feeling that I was the chosen one, the favorite child of my parents, but just 4- years before that, my brother Ken hopefully felt the same, as he was the favorite son at his Bar Mitzvah!

I said, “I” felt and “He” felt, as it just wasn't really true this favoritism; the love and respect from our parents is the same for us both, and no child, (no adult), NOT once should feel alone or not loved as much as his or her sibling!  Love, friendship, and caring comes in different forms and packed differently with each individual person.

A parent’s true gift is to make their children to always feel great and loved, and if that one child of many children feels internally like the favorite, then what a true blessing indeed! 

At my own children’s B’Nai Mitzvah recently, their grandparents sat front and center,as did their aunts and uncles, and  as a parent, I chose wisely, THEY ARE BOTH MY FAVORITES!