Toldot
Cheshvan 28/29, 5775 November 21/22, 2014
Ve'eleh toldot Yitzchak ben-Avraham, Avraham holid et-Yitzchak.
These are the descendants of Isaac, son of Abraham. Abraham was the father of Isaac.
Viha-yeeee Yitzchak ben-arba'im shanah, bich-kactow et-Rivkah, bat-Betu'el ha'Aramee miPaddan-aram, ah-cho-ote Lavan, ha'Aramee lo le'isha.
Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebecca, the daughter of Betuel, the Arammi, of Padan Aram, sister of Lavan, the Arami, for a wife.
The smile on my face, and tears in my eyes as I write this, tells a story;
As this was my Bar Mitzvah Portion 38 years ago!
With each passing year on the anniversary of my bar mitzvah and torah portion,
I always reflect, and have fond memories of the experience, and how proud I made my parents, grandparents, brother, family and friends!
Like most bar mitzvah boys, my voice squeaked with a pubescent tone, although already deep and loud, I pushed aside the microphone in extreme confidence, as I was going to rock the house of over 250 of my guests, my own audience.
On the night of/Day of…..My dad was proudly seated next to me on the bema. My mom sat in the first row, along with my older brother who was 17 at the time, my 2 nanas, and my grandpa Nate, who my dear and loving son is named after. My grandpa jack was present and looking down from heaven, and “popping his buttons off”, as my uncle exclaimed that evening! I remember vividly the smiles, and tears of joy of each of them, even my 17 year old brother smiled and showed he was proud, even-though sibling rivalry never quits!!!
The significance of me becoming a bar mitzvah, that evening of erev Shabbat, and that day of Shabbat, was finally here!
My mom’s ultimate party planning, her organizing all my aunts to bake for an out of this world oneg Shabbat, my dad’s own stories of his Bar Mitzvah (I've heard these stories over and over again, but now as a dad, I do the same to my own kids), my older and sarcastic brother smiling all the time, and of course my dear, dear grandparents kvelling in their seats so proudly, that little 'barralah' (my mom's affectionate name for me) is a bar mitzvah……was all so very present, real, and finally here that very day!
I remember the day, and the night, like it was yesterday, full of rich, vivid, and happy memories. I felt like I was everyone’s favorite person that very moment; lucky me! The way I made my family feel, especially my folks, how could I not be the favorite son? The very fact that my brother was present in the front row watching ME, and it was MY Bar Mitzvah and ALL eyes on me,and people traveled far and near, was so sweet and I was so happy!!! I just had to be the chosen favorite, or so I felt!
Like the bar mitzvah boy, I was years ago......the torah portion, ‘toldot’ has a strong parallelism to what I felt at the time of my bar mitzvah!...That of being the favorite son.
Rebecca and Isaac had twin boys, Esau and Jacob. Each parent had their favorite (be it right or wrong). Isaac loves the manliness of Esau, and Rebecca favored Jacob and his refined and mannered skills. I won't share what son Ken, my brother, resembles, or me, for that matter.
The boys, then men as they matured, were both true individuals, although the favoritism still held up… Both chose to walk a different path.
Esau hunted, Esau gathered, Esau was a man’s man of sorts, a somewhat Sportsman, and of many wives. A modern day, Joey Tribioni, with a mix of Charlie Harper,and some Oscar Madison maybe!
Jacob was more calm inmanner, and and by the book, maybe that of Dr. Ross Gellar, or of Tony Randall’s portrayal of Felix Unger, with a touch of Alan Harper!
Both were unique and both had value to the world!
In the end of Toldot, both do indeed receive their father’s blessings, semi-indirectly, but they did receive them.
I again reflect back to my own Bar Mitzvah, and feeling that I was the chosen one, the favorite child of my parents, but just four years before that, my brother ken felt the same, he was the favorite son at his bar Mitzvah!
I said, “I” felt and “He” felt, as it just wasn't really true this favoritism; the love and respect from our parents is the same for us both, and no child, (no adult), NOT once should feel alone or not loved as much as his or her sibling!
A parent’s true gift is to make their children to always feel great and loved, and if that one child of many children feels internally like the favorite, then what a true blessing.
My folks have given that gift to my brother and me, and now it is our turn to give that same feeling to our children; what a true blessing!!!
Amen
No comments:
Post a Comment