D'Var Torah for Parsha VaYeshev

Parashat VaYeshev

D-Var Torah

Shabbat Saturday, December 8, 2012

Barry Fineman

37:1 Vayeshev Ya'akov be'eretz megurei aviv be'eretz K'na'an.

Jacob(aka Israel) settled in the land where his father lived in before him; In the land of Kenaan.

2 Eleh toldot Ya'akov Yosef ben-shva-esreh shanah hayah ro'eh et-echav batzon vehu na'ar et-benei Bilhah ve'et-benei Zilpah neshei aviv vayave Yosef et-dibatam ra'ah el-avihem.

This is the history of Jacob/Israel; Joseph at the age of seventeen years, would tend to the sheep with his brothers, and there he was with the sons of Bilhah, and the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives. He would bring back bad reports about them to their father.

3 VeYisra'el ahav et-Yosef mikol-banav ki-ven-zekunim hu lo ve'asah lo ktonet pasim.

Israel (aka Jacob) loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, for he was the son of his old age, and he made him a long, colorful coat.

4 Vayir'u echav ki-oto ahav avihem mi-kol echav vayisne'u oto velo yachlu dabro leshalom.

Joseph’s brothers saw that their father loved him more than all of the others, and they hated him. They could not speak to him with any kindness.

5 Vayachalom Yosef chalom vayaged le'echav vayosifu od sno oto.

Joseph had a dream and he told his brothers of his dream, and they hated him even more!

6 Vayomer aleyhem shime'u-na hachalom hazeh asher chalamti.

He said to them, "Listen to this dream that I dreamt.”

And this is where the story that most of know as, Joseph and The Technilcolor Dream Coat was derived from……. Our focus is NOT going to be on The musical, Or Donnie Osmond as Joseph, but rather a Reader’s Digest look into The characteristics of the Last Born; The Youngest Child; I am the Youngest Child, and proud! I will speak from my first hand experiences, from that of my heart, and share a little bit of my story, as I am The Joseph of my Family!

May I see a show of hands from all the youngest born?......................................................................................................................  The rest of you all, can smile, can absorb, can laugh, can remember your siblings and all the love, the fights, the teasing, and the fun you had growing up, and seeing where your baby brother or sister is today!...and maybe do some self-evaluation later?  Let us now walk together, hand in hand and take a look at just a few characteristics and traits, and I’ll share with you:

From Cnn.com, Parentmagazine.com, to CBS.com, and I am sure a slew of other sites, ALL of them are in basic agreement of general traits and characteristics of the order one is born, with our focus on the youngest of the Tribe.   Before the Dot Coms mentioned above, came Alfred Adler (1870–1937), a pioneer in the study of birth order. His research suggested that the position a child had by the order of birth significantly affected the child's growth and personality. Research in the late twentieth century and early twenty-first century shows even greater influence, contributing to intelligence, career choice, and, to a certain degree, success in adulthood.   So let’s dance shall we, and walk down the path together:

The studies ALL suggest;

 Last-born individuals are the baby in the family. They generally receive the most attention in the family and often received much of what they wanted as children so they tend to be some-what self-centered and spoiled. Last-born individuals can engage in drama in relationships simply to get attention and to get attention when they want it. They are prone to pout when they do not get their way in life.  

Positive characteristics

 Last-born children are the fun ones. Last-born children share the characteristics such as being risk takers and idealists. They often have a good sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh. They are natural-born actors and comedians. Last-born individuals tend to be self-confident, sociable and caring. They are good at convincing others to get involved in activities. 

Emotional intelligence

Last-born individuals often know how to interact with people. In other words, they often develop a high level of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence describes a person’s social awareness and ability to engage in social interactions and maintain social relationships. A sociable nature is a good trait, but sociability can lead to manipulative behavior!  Hey Now!

Career Outlook

Last-born individuals are very good in sales and careers that involve high interactions with others. Artistic career interest runs high for the last-born such as in acting or working as a comedian, or in advertising. They tend to like public roles where they can gain attention! Jay Leno, Billy Crystal, Bill Gates (Entrepreneur) all are the youngest. As was Ronald Reagan! Actor and President!  Hey, I took acting lessons and love public speaking!

Romance

A last-born enjoys relationships charged with emotion! Should I stop there?........They want constant attention and demonstrations of affection. They can be difficult in relationships because of a tendency to be co-dependent and smothering. The resistance to structure and order often creates a volatile environment where turmoil in some manner becomes the norm. No turmoil here, BUT that of sincere emotions!

Okay, Okay……What About Barry?  I’m not sharing, so there! Just Kidding!

Positive Characteristics- Describes me to a “T”, almost scary!

Emotional Intelligence- I can work a room like no other! And read emotions and love people!

Career Outlook- Creative and Advertising is me! Entrepreneurial in spirit!  So outside the box!

Romance- I am so doting and a true caretaker! Sssh!

Do the descriptions describe me, Joseph, exactly?  Of course not (don’t ask my mom either…Oy!), BUT Joseph definitely had strong tendencies of being the youngest, as do I!

Where do you fit in the Family Birth Order?  Homework time once again…… What is your position in birth order in your family, and how does the ‘psychological science’ fit you?  Are you Joseph, Cain or Abel, Aaron? Or Rather Moses?  Where do you fit, Where do you really fit?

-Amen-